Loving From a Distance

An upcoming movie starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long is about loving across the miles. Erin and Garret’s supposed-to-be summer fling turned into a serious and meaningful love affair. Will their love survive the distance between New York and San Francisco as Erin leaves New York for graduate school?

Long distance relationships as something most couples would have today, challenge how romantic relationships should be. On one hand, it’s an existing trend that is often doubted in its ability to maintain the love between two people in a relationship.

Because of the internet, things have changed. Even love and relationships have evolved in their forms and meanings. One can marry someone he/she has never seen face-to-face (as in the real face-to-face). They say that people nowadays are more empowered and bold in doing something for the advancement of their careers. Today, most individuals are more likely to grab opportunities abroad and have long distance relationships instead. There are some success stories on LDRs but most would say being in one is hard.  Of course there are trust issues while others would say it’s the touch issues  that complicate things.

96 long distance activities were suggested by Michelle and Frank in their website for this kind of relationship to be a realationship.

Some of these activities I have copy- pasted from their website since I don’t have a LDR experience to share 😀 You’ll find their suggestions very creative so please continue on reading. These might help you someday.

P.S. The “I” below does not refer to me. It’s Michelle.

Not your typical list of long distance activities

–  by Michelle and Frank, Loving from a Distance

1. Watch things simultaneously together!

  • YouTube and Amazon both offer movies you can rent online. Use the links to be taken directly to their online movie rental/video on demand pages. Frank and I have tried both and they work awesome 😀
  • Hulu.com – Frank and I use this site to watch Glee together 😀 (and best of all it’s FREE)

14. Join a virtual world!

Some may cost you money if you want extras, but Second Life, Kaneva, IMVU, and There have free basic membership. You can socialize with other people in these virtual worlds with both voice and text chat. Programs like these are great for those in long distance relationships because they can allow you to go on virtual dates, and can be more interactive than just talking online.

26. Go on a virtual vacation together.

You can visit faraway places with your partner without having to be together and without leaving your own homes! Pick the places you’ve always wanted to take a trip to and explore. Here is a great website to get you started! 360Cities.net: “All our city sites are produced by experienced and dedicated VR photographers around the world who are committed to high professional standards and use the latest VR techniques. Click on any image from our many city site homepages and your browser will open a full, 360-degree panorama visualization of a street scene, museum, neighborhood, restaurant, bar, hotel and more. In the side bar you’ll see a thumbnail list of nearby locations. Start clicking and take a virtual tour through the area.”

Another semi-related idea? You can use Google Maps for your virtual vacation as well, but now with Google Maps’ street view function, you can virtually walk down your boyfriend/girlfriend’s street and explore the area where they live. This function isn’t available for all streets and cities though, but you’ll probably most definitely be able to see a satellite view of their home.

Also try out EarthAlbum.com which combines Flickr photos and Google Maps. Just click on any place in the world to view beautiful photos taken there.

30. Watch them walk by.

I once got Frank to walk by a public live webcam at his college. He trekked across campus just so I could see him walk by. It was awesome 🙂 I am so easily amused! If you go to college, many campuses have live public webcams. Search your school’s website. Want to find other live public webcams? Here’s a site where you can search for public webcams: OnlineCamera.com

53. Make Babies!

Well, not real babies… haha. MakeMeBabies.com is a website that can take two images (one of you and your boyfriend/girlfriend) and generates an image of what your future child might look like. It is the coolest thing ever! 🙂 Take a look at our baby! Frank and I tried it out ourselves. The program doesn’t pay special attention to skin tone, just facial features. I think it does do a good job with the facial features though; I can see the resemblance.

Here’s another cool website you can try out…  Cyberinfants.com

Not ready for a baby? Try adopting a virtual pet: AdoptMe.com

56. Apologize for something stupid you did.

Okay, we all do stupid things once in awhile that hurts our other half from afar. Often they usually require an apology. Sometimes though it can be hard to overcome our pride and say “sorry.” And then sometimes saying sorry doesn’t cut it, and the hurt party throws it back in your face and tells you that you don’t really mean it. We’ve all been there right? Well when you’re at a distance, apologies are even harder, for example, you can’t offer a comforting hug to make the other person feel better. And can you really help it if he/she is giving you the cold shoulder and they’re not responding to phone calls or email?

So anyways, I found this form, and I know it can’t replace a hug, but it might just make them smile again. All you have to do is fill it out and whamo bamo, you have yourself a formal apology! Formal Apology Form. Also try: Record of Remorse.

There are crazier things suggested by Michelle and Frank, so if you want to know more about LDR activities, just visit LFAD’ s website.V

It’s amazing how social media works to bring hearts together. As I was pondering upon what the internet can do to relationships, I realized that the success of LDRs would still depend on love. There are some who can remain in love even if they do not communicate regularly. I believe LDRs can work as long as love is sustained. Cannot we feel the love of the other person when we interact with him/her online? Can’t we feel what the other person feels when we communicate via Skype? Of course we can. Just a few minutes ago, I was talking with a friend in YM and though we only shared words, I felt the burden and the heavy feeling  she was carrying.  A tear dropped, then a second one followed.

Okay. Now I’m going to play a role of a love guru. Imagine!? Kim Fiecas, a love guru? Haha.

Please bear with me because these are really important. 🙂

Kim’s Guide to Successful Long Distance Relationships

1. We are not made for LDRs

It’s nice how social media builds and maintains relationships among people, but we shouldn’t forget that we are made to interact with others face-to-face. We are humans that’s why. And we are humans that’s why we find ways to connect if FtF interactions are not possible. Online communication is not supposed to be enough so it should not be!

2. Honesty is still the best policy

Distance will not prevent your significant other from knowing about your secret hobbies. He/ she does not need to hire an agent just to spy on you if he/she feels you’re hiding something. With the internet and new social media, you might  find yourself being monitored. Or if you’re not careful enough, your FB messages might just give you away.

3. While honesty is the best policy, T-R-U-S-T is also very important

Learn to trust your partner’s love. Just trust.

4. Assurance which he/she can trust.

Regular communication and assurance are very important because in LDRs, these lessen the doubts and the what ifs. Assure the other person of your love and make sure that it’s something he/she can trust.

5. NEW SOCIAL MEDIA helps. A lot.

Maximize the internet. There are different activities you can do together though you’re miles apart. Activities that will not only keep the relationship alive but also make both of you love each other more.

There you go. It’s your turn to suggest. Maybe you have an experience to share. 🙂


4 thoughts on “Loving From a Distance

  1. Haha! I don’t think I can handle long distance relationships, so I might as well leave the suggesting to our classmates. Anyway, your last point is true. The use of the Internet must be maximized by people involved in long distance relationships to keep communication lines open between them. There are also a lot of telecommunication deals offered by networks to strengthen communication between people around the globe, so loving from a distance won’t be that hard anymore, unlike before. 🙂

    1. hi xy!

      In long distance relationships, two people in love are not enough to keep the relationship going. The two must exert effort and give time, because unlike any other kind of relationship, LDRs have special needs, therefore they demand extra-special effort. Of course the two should both do their part, or else it won’t really work no matter how hard the other tries.

      Today, interactions have become easier and closer to real Ftf communication because of NSM. I wonder how LDRs were like back then, when there was no Facebook and Skype yet. 🙂

  2. Hi Kim! I agree with your points about how to keep long distance relationships work with the use of online communication.
    It really is hard to keep a relationship and the fire burning when you cannot even physically be there for your loved one. The challenge for this situation is how the partners can maintain the trust and interest of each other.
    Online communication could never be 100% reliable, yet, we sometimes have to put our trust on what the person on the other side of the communication channel tells us.

  3. Wow, Kim! Thanks for those tips! I am sure that the list you prepared will be of utmost help to the people involved in long distance relationships. 🙂 I think, the quality of your relationship should not be sacrificed because of physical distance.

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