What I’ve Forgotten

 

I have forgotten to work hard for the car that I would be buying them so that they would always have hassle – free trips whenever they’re here in Manila. I don’t want to see Papa coming here carrying a lot of boxes from the province. I have forgotten my dream for them because I wasn’t able to remember their great love for me and for my siblings.

If there’s someone who does not pack light when travelling, that’s Papa. He would bring anything from the province. Charcoal, coconut husk, tables, adobo, banana etc. Those heavy wooden tables could not have been of good use to us if not for Papa who brought them here. Whenever I remember how his body carried everything before just so he could earn money, how he tirelessly worked to raise his family and to send his siblings to school, I would tearfully thank God  for my father’s life. He has gone through a lot of pressure, challenges and problems and he was faced with very difficult situations even at a very young age. Even now, when he should be resting from all of these, he still battles courageously the family’s problems. As I write this post, I feel like crying because of my oblivion. How could I forget how Mama and Papa endured everything? How could I forget their stories?

I thank God because He made me remember. A day ago Mama and I had a conversation. We talked about how the three of us are doing. She told me how she felt about Joshua. She is saddened by his actions. She doesn’t feel my brother’s deep love and gratefulness. I realized how I am doing. Like my brother, I failed to express my deep love and gratitude to them. I failed to remember that their time is short. I forgot to thank them, to call them and to respond to their simple questions and hi’s and hello’s. I forgot to reassure them of my love. Is it because I forgot how much they love me? Their love. They love us so much that they work hard for us. Even sparing a peso for their personal wants is optional because they prioritize our allowance and my sibling’s tuition fees. Right now, as I realize my shortcomings, I begin to ask this question: What could bring joy to my mother’s and father’s heart? Right now I am moved to come before the Lord with a grateful heart and with a heart that asks. Again, I’m asking that He gives me more time.

 

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